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Amazing Australian humouraussie jokes midnight foil

Aussies love their jokes and the current Guinness Book Of Records record holder for telling the most jokes in an hour is Anthony Lehmann who told 549 jokes in one hour at the Rhino Room club, Adelaide, South Australia on 25 May 2005.

Aussies have a good sense of humour, even though it can be a bit rough at times, choose from:
Aussie Jokes Page 1 - Aussie Jokes Page 2 - Aussie Jokes page 3 -
Aussie Jokes Page 4 - Aussie Jokes Page 5 - Aussie Jokes Page 6 - Kiwi Jokes
or real life funny stuff:

Aussie blunders - Aussie bullshit - Aussie politicians -
Aussie eccentrics - Aussie stupidity - Aussie news - etc.


Aussie jokes a often a bit on the rude side. Do not click through to read these jokes if you are easily offended or under 16 years of age.

Bob Hawke's joke

bob hawke

Not long before he became Prime Minister of Australia, and long before political correctness was ever heard of, Bob Hawke told this joke to 700 people at a Melbourne dinner function;

The Indian PM Indira Gandhi was looking for a way to divert attention from the political and economical mess of her government and one of her staff suggested a national lottery. The idea was accepted, the lottery was organized and the whole of India bought tickets in the hope of winning one of the three mystery prizes.
The draw was done in a large stadium, watched by millions of people. First the third prize was drawn; a first class ticket around the world on Air India, the winner was pretty happy with this. Then the second prize was drawn; a fruit cake. The winner was not happy, he complained that the third prize was better, and normally one would expect the second to be larger than the third.
The compere explains; oh, but this is a special fruit cake, it was baked by Mrs. Gandhi!
To which the winner replies; F%#*! Mrs. Gandhi!
The compere; oh no, that is first prize!

The Indian High Commissioner was not impressed.....

Julia Gillard's joke

julia gillard joke

Julia Gillard's partner's joke

prostate joke

Julia's partner Tim told a team of Indian criket players a joke while they were at a party at his house.
The punch line was that if you need a prostate test you should preferable have it done by a small female Asian doctor.
The Indian cricketers laughed, but Julia cringed, and it made the national headlines as the unappropriatest joke in ages.

The Dalai Lama Joke

dalai lama joke
Oh boy, I knew that wasn't gonna work....

In June 2011 Australian "Today" show host Karl Stefanovic sat down with the Dalai Lama during his tour of the continent down under. For some bizarre reason he decided to tell him a joke:
"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop," and says, 'Can you make me one with everything?'
It was met with a blank stare from the Dalai Lama so he told it again, this time a bit slower, and when the Dalai Lama failed to laugh again he buried his face in his hand and admitted defeat.
The failed joked went viral in the world news around the planet, most people could not believe that someone could tell such a bad joke to a revered spiritual leader.

Click here to continue to our Australian jokes collection


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