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Amazing Australian Eccentrics
Not related to the Batman we know from the movies, does not wear his underpants on the outside, does not have a helper called Robin, nor a groovy black convertible to cruise around in but has devoted his life to save the world just like his more famous namesake. Whereas the movie hero tends to battle evil criminals this one runs the Bathouse in Cape Tribulation where he takes care of orphaned bats and fights never ending battles against invasive weeds. This got him in trouble when he moved from poisoning small weeds to killing off beautiful mature coconut trees along the beach in Cape Tribulation. Without any thought for how other people might appreciate these beautiful palms he drilled holes in the trunks and injected the toxic Round-up. Local residents and council pulled him into line and saved the rest of the trees.
Born in 1902 and lived untill 1973, she was the scourge of Sydney taxi drivers as she refused to pay her fares and was also legendary for crossing the continent of Australia by jumping, uninvited, on to bumper bars of cars heading in the direction she wanted to go. She was once incarcerated in a mental home but later released. Also wrote a book that was never published titled 'A dictionary by a bitch' .
Brian Law made an unsuccesful attempt to become mayor
in the 2004 elections with a poster of himself in a pose with hair
in the wind looking more like a promotion poster for the musical
Due to a long overseas trip I was not able to visit him until mid 2005, but on return to Australia found in my postbox the next stage of Commander Grah's world saving efforts, the First Manual of the Interstellar Space Mission which announced he had contructed the Spaceship Butterfly, the fastest ship ever, with free onboard drinks, that measured 100 metres in height.
I decided I had to learn more about how Commander Grah was going to save the world so headed for Mowbray River Road but I could not locate number 100, nor could I see the Spaceship Butterfly, which I had expected to be visible from the road being 100 metres high, (later Commander Grah explained to me that, as he did not expect me that day, he had not opened the interdimensional shields outside his property, so no wonder I could not find him!)
Not much later another letter from the Commander arrived, this time with a map, and the comforting news that this time the interdimensional shields would be opened.
Thanks to this helpful gesture I managed to locate nr. 100 without any worries on my next attempt and was welcomed by Commander Grah in to the headquarters of the Interstellar Space Mission.
On right: Commander Grah signing my personal copy of the Manual of the Interstellar Space Mission
I was somewhat disappointed that there was no equipment or spaceship for me to admire and photograph, but the Commander explained to me that they were still in design stage, but he was only one component short before he could proceed with construction of working prototypes, all he needed was someone to contribute a rocket in which the fuel never runs out, and the Gramajica and the spaceship that is powered by this, could be built. Once built the Gramajica would be enclosed in a casing so nobody could see how this energy source worked, as otherwise rogue nations could use it for evil purposes, in the same manner as nuclear energy had been used for bombs. To avoid this the Gramajica would only be available for rent (not for sale) in an enclosed casing, to be returned to the factory if it had come to the end of its lifespan.
Commander Grah continued to tell me how hard his one-man fight to save the world is, as he gets absolutely no co-operation from the authorities. He had made a hundred copies of the Interstellar Space Mission Manual and had sent them to John Howard and other ministers, to George Bush, to NASA etc. and not one of them had bothered to reply! Not even greenie minister Bob Brown had been in touch with him to learn more about the clean energy of the Gramajica!!! He shook his head in disbelief at the lack of interest. He also told me that not long ago he had wanted to get a Mazda van on the road to organize some transport for him and his future followers to get around but it needed some work done. He placed a $60.- ad in the Mossman Gazette requesting quotes from competent petrol mechanics to flush out the fuel lines on the van. Mechanics keen to make some money here could send in their written quotations to Lord of Saviour, Interstellar Space Mission, 100 Mowbray RIver Road, but would you believe it, not one mechanic bothered to send in a quote!! To make matters worse, the editor at the Mossman Gazette also desecrated the flag of the Interstellar Space Mission by cutting off the edges in this ad, and would not even consider a refund on the costs of the ad to compensate Commander Grah for this!
As you can see, with so much ignorance in the world
Commander Grah needs help!
If you are interested in saving the world with unlimited perpetual motion energy, or would like a trip on the Starship Butterfly, or own a rocket in which the fuel never runs out that you can contribute to this mission, please write to;
Lord of Saviour
Interstellar Space Mission
100 Mowbray River Road
Port Douglas 4871
Click here to read the full text of the First Manual of the Interstellar Space Mission
Originally from Latvia, where he claims he was a baron, Harry spent 13 years up in the north of Australia hunting crocodiles and then arrived in Coober Pedy, South Australia, to try his luck at opal mining. Like most people in this town he lives in a cave, which he has adorned with his own artworks and that is now one of the prime tourist attractions of the town, attracting busloads of tourists. The cave has featured in the Mad Max movie and numerous magazines as females who jump into his bed are allowed to write their name on the ceiling of the cave and Harry has collected an astonishing number of names.
On November 7 2003 a policeman near Cairns, north Queensland, noticed a van with some unusual number plates. He pulled the van over and asked the driver for his drivers licence. The man, Daniel Korneliussen, then handed him a home made "Common Law Driver's Licence of a Natural Person", that was valid until 2099. The registration on the van had been cancelled some time ago but the Mr. Korneliussen also had some home made registration papers proving ownership under "common law, natural law, divine law and the Australian constitution". The number plates on the van were also home made with no attempt to make them look like standard plates. Mr. Korneliussen also failed to make an appearance when the matter went to court as he did not acknowledge Queensland law but although absent still was fined $900.- or 18 days in jail.
Computer engineer David Robinson, 41, boarded a Melbourne to Launceston flight on May 29, 2003, armed with two wooden stakes and two aerosol cans. In July 2004 when the matter was before the court, the judge and jury heard how Davo had believed he was on a mission from God. He had traveled extensively across Australia, looking for a woman wearing scarlet and crimson, who would indicate the whereabouts of the devil. He finally found her in Tasmania at a place called the Walls of Jerusalem, an imposing cliff face in a national park. He then decided to crash a plane into these walls to kill the devil and save the world from this evil. So he bought himself a plane ticket but in January 2003 his plan was interrupted by a flight attendant. He boarded another plane in May and this time stormed towards the cockpit, brandishing his wooden stakes. Luckily a solidly built cabin crew member interrupted the stampede towards the cockpit and pinned the madman down, though he suffered multiple stabwounds to his head from the wooden stakes that Davo madly kept jabbing him with. Three psychiatrists gave evidence that the man was unable to recognize that his actions were wrong and the judge decided to keep him detained at a secure psychiatric hospital and decide on the period of detention at a later date.
Did Elvis really die or is he still alive? The mystery is solved, he is still alive and well and runs a fruit and veg shop in Woodford near Brisbane. Cruise into town along the main street until you see Elvis Parsley's Grapeland and pop into the shop. On demand he will change his shop outfit for the glitter suit, crank up the sound system and belt out the old favorites like Viva Las Vegies, Artichoke Hotel and Suspicious Limes.
A bloke named Bill has managed to live on his houseboat on Horseshoe beach in Magnetic Island for the last 30 years or so, a million dollar location for absolutely free! Authorities have been wanting to move him on for decades but have so far been unsuccesful.
In 1969 Mr. Leonard Casley from Kalbarri, Western
Australia ran into disagreements with the government over what to
do with the wheat from his farm. In the end the dispute ran that
high that he decided to secede from Australia, renamed his wheat
farm the Hutt River Province, declared himself Prince Leonard and
his wife Princess Shirley of Hutt , and he has started printing
his own stamps. There were still more disagreements between Hutt
River Province and Canberra and in 1997 Hutt River Province actually
declared war on Australia. Though there is no welcome sign at the
gate you can go in and visit the prince and princess. Send us a
photo too. It may be a bit hard to find but the Geraldton tourist
info will give you a map when you go in to get your visa
for Hutt River Province. You can also get your passport stamped
on entry. Follow the latest news from this place in their online
Hutt River Guardian.
More info on the official website of the Hutt River Province .
Tasmanian inventor and artist Steven Whitmore reckons
the days of bungee jumping are over as he's got an idea that still
needs a little more research and development but could become the
next craze for 21st century thrill-seekers. The concept is a person
to be strapped inside a huge plastic ball and then be pushed out
of a plane, then it would just bounce around until it came to a
stop. He is a bit short on research funds himself so has written
to Richard Branson, known for having a few dollars and doing a bit
of flying and crashing himself in big balloons. Richard thought
it was an interesting idea. He has also invented a huge capsule
made of bullet-proof glass where a thrill-seeker can be strapped
inside and the capsule is then dropped head first into the ocean.
Steven will exhibit plans for his flying ball and flying capsule in The Flying Eagle Gallery art gallery at his suburban Claremont home north of Hobart. The exhibits include a blue fridge that sits Dada-like on the grass, a table, chairs and keg of beer on his garage roof, a bar in his garden dubbed the Blue Rein, an assortment of older vehicles, including a Dodge, a Triumph, a Valiant and a Jaguar, a peculiar home-made bird bath near the front door and a garden gnome perched on top of the hills hoist in the backyard . Not your average suburban garden. If you happen to visit him send us some pics please!
When you drive the backway from the Flinders Ranges to Coober Pedy, somewhere near Lyndhurst you will find the residence of Talc Alf, a character of Dutch origin turned sculptor, artist, poet, bush philosopher and supporter of the new flag for Australia. He also has interesting theories on the origin of written language and you can admire his collection of carvings in talc seven days a week during daylight hours.
Reportedly there is an old ex-Dutchman named Theo
walking around Tenant Creek in a dress.
If you know anything more or have a pic please send it to us!
Have you come across any amazing Australian eccentrics? Then tell us!